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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.
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The
piechart
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pie chart
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 depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the utilisation of
Use synonyms
resourses
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resources
,
total
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a total
the total
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 number of
people
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live
Wrong verb form
living
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 around the world and the consumption of
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resourses
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resources
 as well.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the
people
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 spend
money
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 on other activities but most of the
people
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 live in Asia.Huge amount of
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resourses
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resources
consumed
Add a missing verb
are consumed
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from
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by
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U.S.A
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the U.S.A
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 and Europe as well. Looking at the chart in detail,
cosidering
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considering
people
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 spend
money
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 on various activities and that accounted for 40%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,almost
aquarter
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a quarter
 of
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money
Correct article usage
the money
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utilised
Add a missing verb
is utilised
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 for
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the purchase
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purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
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Change preposition
of foad
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foad
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food
 items.
People
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 spend
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money
Correct quantifier usage
more money
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in
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on
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 housing than transport and that accounted
for12
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for 12
% and 18% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
above
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over
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 half of the
people
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 lived in
asia
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Asia
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,but
equal
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an equal
the equal
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 number of
people
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settle
Wrong verb form
settled
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 in Europe and America and that accounted for 14%. Only 10% of
people
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 live in Africa.Inaddtion
almost60
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almost
% of USA and
Europe
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European
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 citizens
cosumed
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consume
significant
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a significant
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 amount of
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resourses
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resources
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words resourses, people, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • data
  • spending habits
  • consumption
  • resources
  • population distribution
  • comparison
  • patterns
  • developed countries
  • developing countries
  • implications
  • disparities
  • environmental consequences
  • social impacts
  • sustainability
  • economic development
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