IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for 20 years ago and last year.

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for 20 years ago and last year.
#show #amount #electricity #energy #source #scotland #years #year
The pie charts below
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the number of electricity generated by
energy
 source in Scotland for
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of decades
years
 ago and
last
 year.
Overall
, 20
years
 ago the highest percentage of
energy
 was generated by Coal and the lowest one was Oil.
However
, in the
last
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 Hydro pumped storage
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
generated the lowest amount of
energy
,
whether
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 Coal generated the highest number of
energy
 so far. 20
years
 ago Nuclear was generated
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
19.6% of
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 in Scotland and in the
last
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 it
is increases
Change the verb form
is increased
is increasing
show examples
 to 26.4%, which is more increased in comparison to other types of
energy
. Whether
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Hydro natural flow
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
produced 8.7% of
energy
 and after 20
years
 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
produced 7.9% of
energy
 which almost hasn't changed. In conclusion, even after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20
years
 government still produced most of
energy
Correct pronoun usage
its energy
show examples
 by using coal.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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