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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity by energy source in Scotland for 20 years ago and last year.

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity by energy source in Scotland for 20 years ago and last year.
#show #amount #electricity #energy #source #scotland #years #year
The both
Correct article usage
Both
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pie charts demonstrate the amount of electricity,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
produced by energy in Scotland
last
 year and 20 years later.
Overall
, the first table showed types of energy, where coal (approximately 41.4%) was
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 trait, but not more important was hydro pumped storage with three
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 twenty years ago. The second Tae
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
, that the same amount of coal was consumed to generate
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
electricity in Scotland, in the same
way
Add the comma(s)
,way
show examples
 raw material with
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 percentage was at
hydro pumped
Add a hyphen
hydro-pumped
show examples
 storage
2.2
Change preposition
at 2.2
show examples
%. Twenty years ago, gas 22.3% was used after coal, but oil two
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 had been used to generate
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
light,
besides
last
 year
similarly
 percentages and types were belong to gas and oil.
Although
, nuclear 19.6% and other renewables rose
rapidly
Correct quantifier usage
more rapidly
show examples
 than others. In general,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 rates demonstrated significant altering percentages in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 20 and 1 year. But vivid rates illustrated by
combine
Replace the word
combined
show examples
 materials coal and gas in both of charts.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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