IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar graph below depicts the percentage of families in owned and rented houses in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

The bar graph below depicts the percentage of families in owned and rented houses in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
#bar #percentage #families #houses #england #wales
The bar graph below depicts the percentage of families in owned and rented houses in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. It can be clearly seen from the chart that the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest figure
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 rented accommodation was in 1918,
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reached almost 80%.
By contrast
, in the same
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 the lowest rate in owned spaces could pass
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
liitle
Correct your spelling
little
 more than 20%.
Whereas
, in 1939 and 1953 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
total
 equal percentage for both indicators. There was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approximately 69% in room rental and more than 30%, who had their own
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartments
.
Similarly
, as many people in 1991 as households in 2001 chose to
owned
Change the verb
own
show examples
 spaces.
Also
, there were almost
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same number of habitants, who
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 leasing residences. In
generaly
Correct your spelling
general
, we can see from the data that in the past considerably more people lived in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rented accommodations,
however
, citizens in owned houses rose gradually, and the trend was upward.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depicts" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: