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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The charts provide the percentage of using
water
Use synonyms
 for different purposes in six areas around the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the given information, Europe is the country
uses
Correct pronoun usage
that uses
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 most in
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
show examples
 field, it takes 53%.
About
Change preposition
Regarding
show examples
 agricultural use, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the largest proportion of
water
Use synonyms
, accounting for 88%. And South America is the country
uses
Correct pronoun usage
that uses
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 for domestic
filed
Correct your spelling
fields
show examples
 most, it takes 19%. First of all, there are four countries
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large percentage of using
water
Use synonyms
 for
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
an agricultural
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
, they occupy more than 50%. They are South America, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
, Africa,
Central
Correct word choice
and Central
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
, 71%, 81%, 84% and 88% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all of these six areas have less than 20% of domestic use. South America has the largest proportion in
this
Linking Words
 field which is 19% and Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 has the least apply same as South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 (7%).
Finally
Linking Words
, in South East
Asia
Use synonyms
, 12% of
water
Use synonyms
 is utilized for industrial uses,
while
Linking Words
 in Africa and Central
Use synonyms
Asia
Add a comma
,Asia
show examples
 only 7% and 5% of
water
Use synonyms
 are put to use for industrial purposes.
Submitted by chauhongngoc.577 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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