IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE CHANGES IN FOOD CONSUMPTION BY CHINESE PEOPLE BETWEEN 1985 AND 2010 SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES, AND MAKE COMPARISONS WHERE RELEVANT.

THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE CHANGES IN FOOD CONSUMPTION BY CHINESE PEOPLE BETWEEN 1985 AND 2010 SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES, AND MAKE COMPARISONS WHERE RELEVANT.
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The graph provides information about the number of food
Use synonyms
consumption
Replace the word
consumed
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 by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010. As can be seen from the graph, there were different trends for the
consumption
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 of
meat
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, call and fish. The number of
meat
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consumption
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 increased rapidly from 1985 to 2010, from about 100 to 200
grams
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/
person
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/
weeks
Fix the agreement mistake
week
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.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
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 as
meat
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 has a similarity because it started increasing quickly from 1985 to 1990 with 600 to 700
grams
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/
person
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/
weeks
Fix the agreement mistake
week
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,
then
Linking Words
 decreased a bit in 1995 with 600
grams
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/
person
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/week, and fluctuated wildly in one decade. Another type of food
consumption
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 is salt
has
Verb problem
which is
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 a little bit different
with
Change preposition
from
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meat
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 and fish
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 immediately
in
Change preposition
from
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beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
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1985
Change preposition
of 1985
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 to the end
2010
Change preposition
of 2010
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 with total
Consumption
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 from 500 to 100
grams
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/
person
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/week.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in the number of
meat
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 and fish
consumption
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 than salt
consumption
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.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, meat, grams, person with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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