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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the process of making a violin by hand. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process of making a violin by hand. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The above diagram illustrates the
process
Use synonyms
 of making a
violin
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 by hand. The
process
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 starts from scratch and delivers us the final product [
violin
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]. The
process
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 of making a
violin
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 involves 9 main steps. All these steps
uses
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use
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man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
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 and
does
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do
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 not require the help of machines. Each step requires different materials and
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 to arrive at the final product.
Thin
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A thin
The thin
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 piece of wood is taken and
cutted
Correct your spelling
cut
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in
Change preposition
into
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 the shape
violen
Correct your spelling
violent
viola
 (body of
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violin
Correct article usage
the violin
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)
Then
Linking Words
 the back
part
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 and the
front
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part
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 which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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cutted
Correct your spelling
cut
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 in the previous step
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 coated and polished.
Then
Linking Words
 with the help of a cutting tool, f-hole is cut in the
front
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part
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. In the next stage bass bar is glued to the
front
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part
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 of the
violin
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. The unshaped rib strips are shaped with the help of
heating
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the heating
a heating
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 tool.
Then
Linking Words
 the
front
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part
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, ribs and back
part
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 are glued together. The neck with the scroll is connected to the body of the body of the
violin
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. The assembled
violin
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 is polished with varnish, and additional parts are added.
This
Linking Words
 completes the
process
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 of making, a
violin
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. Now the completed
violin
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 can be tuned and played.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, violin, part, front with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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