IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The presented illustration of the line graph provides the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

The presented illustration of the line graph provides the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
#illustration #line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton
The presented illustration of the line graph provides the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. As can be seen, Pavilion and Pier attractions increased,
while
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 and
Festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
reduced
Add a missing verb
were reduced
show examples
 to the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. It is interesting to note that
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
show examples
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
highest
Correct pronoun usage
its highest
show examples
 point in 1995
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is almost twice as much. But it fell to almost 30% throughout the time.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 Pier used to be the lowest in the beginning. From 1980 to 2000 it was wavely but in
last
 10 years rapidly rose for two time.
In contrast
, Art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 dramatically climbed and
also
 dramatically decreased in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 10 years. From 1995 to 2010 it rapidly declined and
this
 was the biggest change. Meanwhile
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
show examples
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
present
 but did not
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 or fell just remained the same.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "presented" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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