The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
bar
Use synonyms
charts represent information about
people
Use synonyms
who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in and outside
Australia
Use synonyms
. The first
bar
Use synonyms
chart gives information about
people
Use synonyms
born in 1995. It is shown in
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
that more
people
Use synonyms
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
in cities and rural
areas
Use synonyms
outside
Australia
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
inside
Correct article usage
the inside
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
yellow
Correct article usage
the yellow
show examples
bar
Use synonyms
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
more
people
Use synonyms
born in
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
inside
Australia
Use synonyms
rather than outside. The second graph
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
Use synonyms
birth
Add an article
the birth
a birth
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2010. It is evident from
Use synonyms
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
chart that
Use synonyms
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
in cities very high
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to town and rural
areas
Use synonyms
both inside and outside
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
born in towns and rural
areas
Use synonyms
are equal in
Australia
Use synonyms
and outside its
terratory
Correct your spelling
territory
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
in rural
areas
Use synonyms
is very low. From
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
charts, we can see that
Use synonyms
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
in cities from 1995 to 2010
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
significantly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
in rural
areas
Use synonyms
as it
lower
Wrong verb form
lowered
show examples
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
from 30 to less than 20 inside
Australia
Use synonyms
and 40 to approximately 5 outside its region. The
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
in towns
also
Linking Words
degrade
Wrong verb form
degraded
show examples
over the years.
Submitted by essammohamed2015516 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words bar, people, australia, areas, birth, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: