IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan
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When looking at the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 you’ll see the time spent by working
adults
Use synonyms
 in a country, The first
chart
Use synonyms
 is
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1958
while
Linking Words
 the other one is
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2008
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 a time jump so we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
, See the different
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 very different times. By looking at the
chart
Use synonyms
 you
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 see that in both of these
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
 work took a big chunk of time, For working
adults
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 working it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a higher percentage in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2008 mainly because of online working, Now your peers could call you, message you and even video call you to show their
proplem
Correct your spelling
problems
 face to face in a sense.
Overall
Linking Words
 you could say both of these times were
simaler
Correct your spelling
similar
simpler
 to each other when it comes to working hours.
While
Linking Words
 working took more than others percentages, Sleeping took the second
pleace
Correct your spelling
place
. when you look at the
chart
Use synonyms
 you could say that working
adults
Use synonyms
 in 1958
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 sleeping more than
adults
Use synonyms
 in 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, adults with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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