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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The pie charts illustrate the median percentages
in
Change preposition
of
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 different food types of nutrients which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 unhealthy if consumed frequently in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that dinner
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the highest role in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 elements
whereas
Linking Words
 breakfast
is rarely use
Change the verb form
is rarely used
show examples
 for the ingredients. Dinner is more dominant than other aspects which accounted for 43%
Change preposition
of
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and 37%
Change preposition
of Saturated
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Saturated
Change preposition
of Saturated
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 Fat respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in Added
Sugar
Use synonyms
, dinner is the
upper-socond
Correct your spelling
upper-second
 class which got 23 per
cents
Fix the agreement mistake
cent
show examples
 and the highest meal goes to snacks which remained for almost a half percentage. Snacks
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
use standard ingredients
within
Change preposition
in
show examples
Sodium
Use synonyms
, Fat, and
Sugar
Use synonyms
 which
marked
Verb problem
are
show examples
 29%, 26% and 19%
subsequently
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lowest behaviour comes from breakfast which was people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rarely ate
Sodium
Use synonyms
, Saturated Fat, and Added
Sugar
Use synonyms
 at all times. For Saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
, the composition of the percentage was the same, which is 16%,
while
Linking Words
 in
Sodium
Use synonyms
 the usage was so little which was under a one-fourth percentage.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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