IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that all country’s visitors uplifted from 1.3 to 3.2
million
Use synonyms
,except China. It can be clearly observed that France was at its peak
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
 time with 167.7
million
Use synonyms
 visitors,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 the USA had the biggest amount of money from tourists, it is approximately 270 billion dollars.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the smallest quantity of humans who travel was in Italy,
furthermore
Linking Words
 the number did not reach 100
million
Use synonyms
 people. ,
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 it could be noticed that both countries China and Italy did not exceed in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of tourists 60
million
Use synonyms
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 the sum of these two countries is equal to the budget of one country USA. It is interesting to note that the year 2013
also
Linking Words
 shows that all countries were uplifted by visitors. It is apparently seen that from the beginning until the end only China declined by 2 per cent.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "uplifted" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: