IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society?

#tourism #industry #individuals #society
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Tourist is one source of many country
ecnomic
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economy
,
Howeover
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Moreover
, There are most
of
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apply
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countries started to develop it and
bulid
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build
 the
facilites
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facilities
that can
helped
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help
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 to attract visters ,In
this
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 essay I will discuss the
contribute
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contribution
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 of Tourism in imporove citizen life.
firs
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first
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 of all ,there are some countries which only have
this
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 source to live , we can
sayb
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say
for example
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 . Labonon is dependent on tourism for it is
ecnomic
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economic
,
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apply
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because it has
awasome
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awesome
 nature that makes many
of
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apply
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vister
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visiter
 want to see it , that can
has
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have
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alot
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a lot
 of benefits
in
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apply
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both for individuals in society and relate to
country
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country's
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income .
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Moreover
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Moreover
Morever
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Moreover
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apply
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that
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apply
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, can make
mixing
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the mixing
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 of people from different places and learn and
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exchange
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exchange
exchang
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exchange
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apply
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the
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apply
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ideas from
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each
ech
Correct word choice
apply
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other, As
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a results
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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, that will
Unnecessary verb
apply
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be
Verb problem
apply
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Correct your spelling
a variety
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variety
avarity
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variety
 of
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cultures
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culture
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cultures
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can
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invented
invinted
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introduce
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apply
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a
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apply
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new things
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for
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for
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instance, there will be
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different
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differ
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different
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 restaurants like ,
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in India
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India
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in India
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 , or Italy
Correct your spelling
with
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with
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withe
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with
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catgoreys
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categories
category
 od cozen ,
Furthermore
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, communication with others from
another countries
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another country
other countries
show examples
 can build relationships that will
developes
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develop
develops
 life in many
filad
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fields
, like
bussines
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business
 or shopping .But
that
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is
Verb problem
does
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 not mean it
is not have
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does not have
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 the bad said it
also
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,
have
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has
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 like lack
in
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of
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 relationships with the new
habbits
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habits
 and
differ
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different
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relagions
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religions
relations
 that can make
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an influnce
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influnce
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influence
influences
 in society .
Finally
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 , In my opinion the benefits of Tourism
are over
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the
oppisite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 impact and the government should
incourage
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encourage
the advetisments to
visting
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visit
 their places that can
improvement
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improve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
agood
Correct your spelling
a good
 effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 individuals and
Correct article usage
the
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country.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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task response
The response does not fully address the task and lacks clear comprehensive ideas as well as relevant specific examples. More specific details and examples are needed to support the main points and improve the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows some structure with an introduction and a conclusion, but the logical structure and flow of ideas need improvement. Clearer transitions and topic sentences would help to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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