The pie charts show the main reason for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The pie charts show the main reason for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The pie charts depict the primary cause of migration to and from the UK in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the
reason
Use synonyms
for immigration in the definite job had the highest proportion of people ,
while
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for no
reason
Use synonyms
lowest.
Furthermore
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, the
reason
Use synonyms
for emigration had the biggest percentage of the public who are at the definite job,
whereas
Linking Words
the formal study smallest.
To begin
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with ,definite jobs in immigration, accounted for 30 % which is twice as much as accompanying and joining (15%). The figure for looking for work had roughly similar proportions to others, namely 12% and 11% respectively. The formal study was over 4 times bigger than people with no
reason
Use synonyms
.
However
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, it was the most unpopular
reason
Use synonyms
over the period in question. With regards to emigration, in terms of looking for work, it accounted for 22 % ,
whereas
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accompany and join only 13 %. The figure for formal study was over three times smaller than others.
However
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, the rate of definite jobs was approximately 29 % which is higher than no
reason
Use synonyms
stated ( 18 %).
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words reason with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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