IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You recently encountered some problems with a public transportation service in your area. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company and say - where and what the problems were - explain how these problems affect the public - suggest what changes could be made to improve the situation

#transportation #service #area #manager #transport #company #changes #situation
Dear Sir/Madam I am writing a letter to inform some issues that we encountered in using public transportation within our area at Naracoorte company.
This
 problem we face
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
now in our community at Teyes Brothers. The workers
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may be able not to go and work
due to
 the broken
transport
,
however
; we
try
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
 to
warm
Correct your spelling
warn
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 the driver to report the issues
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the public
transport
 yet he never did report the problem.
In addition
 to
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 we
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face a lot of things that
affecting
Change the form of the verb
affect
show examples
 our
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and school
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our children. One main
issues
Change to a singular noun
issue
show examples
 now that the public
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
encountered
Wrong verb form
encounters
show examples
 is not
to go and
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 shopping for our food and
that is
 the main need
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our family. I am suggesting if the council buy a spare public
transport
 for the community and if
this
 case
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 again
then
 there is no more problem for the people in the area because they know that there will be
a
Remove the article
transport
a means of transport
a mode of transport
show examples
transport
. I appreciate your time and let me know if you have any more questions regarding
these issue
Change the determiner
this issue
these issues
show examples
. Yours' Faithfully, Tokateti Totoki
Submitted by riemwatokateti on

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task response
Ensure that the letter addresses all the key points mentioned in the prompt, and provide specific details about the problems faced with public transportation.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing need to be more formal and suitable for a business letter. Avoid using generic openings and closings like 'Dear Sir/Madam' and 'Yours Faithfully.'
lexical resource
Improve the range and accuracy of vocabulary used. Use specific and appropriate terms related to public transportation and problem-solving.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar to convey ideas clearly and accurately. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction.
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