IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The supplied chart provides the international students graduate rates in Canadian universities from 2001 to 2006.

The supplied chart provides the international students graduate rates in Canadian universities from 2001 to 2006.
This
Linking Words
 bar chart displays the 5-year change in
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of overseas students' graduate rates in eight Canadian colleges from 2001 to 2006. As can be seen from the data the graduate rate has increased in all universities except Alberta. More specifically, we can find that no matter in 2001 or 2006, New Brunswick
University
Use synonyms
 remain the best performance of these eight universities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, British Columbia
University
Use synonyms
 soared the most considerablely in 5 years, from less than 5% to over 10%. Nova Scotia
University
Use synonyms
 was the
last
Linking Words
 one to over 10% in 2006. other universities expect for Alberta
University
Use synonyms
 were between 5% to 10% in 2006.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Alberta
University
Use synonyms
 showed the worst graduate rate, which was less than 5% in 2006.
In addition
Linking Words
, It was the only regressed one.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words university with synonyms.
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