IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #population #size #birth #death #rate #england #wales #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The supplied data table describes the
population
 size,
birth
 and
death
rates
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. As a general trend, the
population
 size
rate
 increased overwhelmingly after the 19th century in England and Wales.
Moreover
, the
death
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 declined after 1800
started
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
while
 the
birth
rate
 after 1950 went upward. It could be noticed that the
population
 size of England and Wales started at approximately 3
million
 in 1700,
then
 after 50 years the
population
rate
 went as high as 10
million
. During the next 50
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 the
population
rate
 declined to nearly 3
million
 in 1800. Again after 50 years, it increased from nearly 3
million
 up to 10
million
 in 1850.
Furthermore
, that year, the
rate
 rapidly increased to almost 45
million
people
 in 1900.
However
, in the following
centuries
Add a comma
,centuries
show examples
 the
rate
 reached 50
million
 in 2000. The
birth
rate
 and
death
 followed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend from 1700 to 1950.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1700 to 1750, an
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 was seen in both of these
rates
. The
birth
 was rose from 30 to 40 per
1000
Correct your spelling
1,000
people
while
 the
death
rate
 increased from around 27 to almost 37 per
1000
Correct your spelling
1,000
people
. From 1750 to 1800 the
rate
 mode was steady for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth
 and
death
 reaching an all-time low of
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 20 per thousand
people
 by 1950. From that year, the sharp increase in the
birth
rate
begins
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 climbing to roughly 34 per 1000 folks in 2000.
In contrast
, the
death
rates
 plateaued from 1950 to 2000.
Overall
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
rate
 increased
as a result
 of
skyrocketing
Correct article usage
the skyrocketing
show examples
birth
rate
 and stabilized
death
rate
. In 2000 the
birth
rate
 in the UK was as high as 34,
while
 the
death
rate
 was 20.
Submitted by hamoudisayyah on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, birth, death, rates, rate, million, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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