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Band 4.5

Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others , however, believe that boys and girls would benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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School
Use synonyms
 play an essential role in
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 development. The topic
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 should be taught in
seprate
Correct your spelling
separate
schools
Use synonyms
 or mixed
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 has been a significant debate for years. Some people think that it is best to educate
both
Use synonyms
genders
Use synonyms
 in single-sex
schools
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others argue that co-education will
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for them.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate
Use synonyms
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 perspectives before offering my opinion on
this
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 matter.
To begin
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 with, Single-sex
schools
Use synonyms
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in better performance.
In other words
Linking Words
, if children
educate
Change the form of the verb
educated
show examples
 in separate
school
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distraction and leads to better performance in academics.
Secondly
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,
Students
Use synonyms
 can focus more
in study
Change preposition
on studying
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 rather than other activities
such
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 as personal grooming and
impress
Wrong verb form
impressing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other people. Not only
this
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, pupils learn discipline
as well as
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 they follow the rules.
Moreover
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,
both
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genders
Use synonyms
 can achieve their goals easily as there is no distraction and their only focus is academic performance.
On the other hand
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, some advocates believe that educating
girls
Use synonyms
 and
boys
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 in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 helps not only in academics but in real life too.
For instance
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, if
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 be taught in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 they develop
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 understanding
for
Change preposition
of
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 one another and it will eventually help them in real life
such
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 as
marital
Change preposition
in marital
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 and even in
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Furthermore
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, Co-education
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 in personal grooming as
students
Use synonyms
 care
abot
Correct your spelling
about
 their appearance.
In addition
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,
both
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genders
Use synonyms
 learn to respect each other and try to co-exist in
such
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Correct article usage
an enviroment
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
.
Due to
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 educating in same
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 become more confident
while
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 communicating with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
.
For example
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,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 study shows that
students
Use synonyms
 who
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
show examples
 in
mix
Replace the word
mixed
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 are more
comfertable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 with
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
 gender
to communicate
Verb problem
apply
show examples
than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 in single-sex
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
To conclude
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, There is
ongoing
Add an article
an ongoing
show examples
 debate whether
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 should be taught in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 or separate
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. some people argue that same
school
Use synonyms
 help them to better understand opposite gender
while
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 single-sex
school
Use synonyms
 help them focus on study more without any disturbance. In my opinion,
co-eduaction
Correct your spelling
co-education
 will
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 for
both
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genders
Use synonyms
 as they can learn to co-exist and it
evntually
Correct your spelling
eventually
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them in real life too.

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task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a balanced discussion of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more structured and coherent manner. Use clear transition words to connect your ideas and paragraphs effectively.
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