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Band 6

the chart below shows the value of one country export in various categories during 2015 and 2016. the table shows the percentage change in value of export in 2016

the chart below shows the value of one country export in various categories during 2015 and 2016. the table shows the percentage change in value of export in 2016
#value #country #export #categories #percentage #change
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The bar graph below compares the worth of five different categories of a country's exports in
Change the article
the year
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2015 and 2016.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 there is a table illustrating the relative change in their values during
this
Linking Words
 period. We can see that
products
Use synonyms
 differentiated from oil and
goods
Use synonyms
 produced by engineers
has
Change the verb form
have
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 brought the most money for the state.
Whereas
Linking Words
, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and textiles were among the least profitable exports. Looking at the bar chart,
goods
Use synonyms
 produced from petroleum were the only
goods
Use synonyms
 to value more than 60 billion dollars in 2015
while
Linking Words
 in 2016, they were able to make the same amount of money from their engineered creations too. Comparing both of these categories of
products
Use synonyms
, we notice that the engineering
products
Use synonyms
' figures increased more than they did for petroleum
goods
Use synonyms
, 8.5 and 3 per cent respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
outcomes
Correct article usage
the outcomes
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 of
textile
Add an article
the textile
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 industry grew the most with more than 15 per cent and in 2016, they almost matched the money made by agriculture, which stayed almost the same during
this
Linking Words
 period of time.
However
Linking Words
, the only category to see its revenues reduced was jewelleries which dropped by a little over 5 per cent in 2016.
Submitted by parham.moonesi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words products, goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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