IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Water pollution has become an increasing problem over the past few decades. What causes water pollution? How can we prevent this problem?

Water
Use synonyms
 pollution is one of the pressing environmental problems facing our planet today. I would argue that consumerism and poor domestic
use
Use synonyms
 are both global and individual examples of the
problem
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore the leading causes of the issue and several solutions to address it in a comprehensive
way
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, as the population on Earth is growing rapidly, meeting
people
Use synonyms
’s needs is
also
Linking Words
 becoming much tougher than ever. We are used to purchasing virtually everything more than enough to live.
This
Linking Words
 is called consumerism, which is a primary reason for various global problems
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 pollution.
everything
Fix capitalization
Everything
show examples
 ranging from plastic bottles to toxic chemicals is being thrown into rivers, seas, and oceans.
This
Linking Words
 stems from overusing daily products and overmanufacturing.
While
Linking Words
 manufacturing and consuming tremendously are considered globally, there is another small root of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
. It is using drinking
water
Use synonyms
 in a poor
way
Use synonyms
. Personally, I see quite often that many
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 to wash their
cars
Punctuation problem
cars,
show examples
 as it is renewable.
This
Linking Words
 pollutes
water
Use synonyms
 in some
way
Use synonyms
 and makes the
problem
Use synonyms
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
bigger.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is not too late to take crucial steps to deal with
this
Linking Words
 matter before it reaches its critical point. One
way
Use synonyms
 to prevent it is to raise awareness among
people
Use synonyms
 about how severe consequences
water
Use synonyms
 scarcity has. As it is a global
problem
Use synonyms
, every country has
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to work in cooperation.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 should be done by the media
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my opinion. All celebrities and influencers can support
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 delivering the message of the
problem
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if Messi and Ronaldo advocate for
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 only enough amount of products, the result will be significant.
Additionally
Linking Words
, parents should be more responsible for their every action in the family
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 children learn nearly anything from those actions.
This
Linking Words
 is a good
way
Use synonyms
 to fight over the issue individually. In conclusion,
over usage
Use the right word
overuse
show examples
 of various products and bad domestic
use
Use synonyms
 make
water
Use synonyms
polluted most
Correct word order
most polluted
show examples
, I feel.
However
Linking Words
, these can be solved by increasing awareness of the results among
people
Use synonyms
 and being more careful in the family. It is vital to hold the Earth resilient and sustainable for the generation to
come
Punctuation problem
come,
show examples
 as it was not only created for us

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Make your answer more focused on causes and solutions. Some parts drift from the main idea of water pollution and its prevention.
organization
Organize the essay with clear cause–effect links, then solutions. Use a topic sentence for each paragraph and keep related ideas together.
language
Use simple, correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid awkward phrases and wrong forms, and check plurals and word order.
examples
Provide specific, realistic examples of pollution sources and practical steps people can take at home, in schools, and in communities.
structure
The essay shows a clear aim and has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
cohesion
There are attempts to link ideas with joining words and to compare or add more points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Toxic substances
  • Eutrophication
  • Algae blooms
  • Pathogens
  • Nutrients
  • Organic matter
  • Marine environments
  • Coastal ecosystems
  • Microplastics
  • Food chain
  • Hazardous chemicals
  • Mining activities
  • Industrial waste
  • Agricultural runoff
  • Sewage and wastewater
  • Oil spills
  • Plastic pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: