Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #favourite #activities

Over the years,

activities

that are considered to be

sports

have been evolving.

While

a few of these games are relatively safe, others are considered not to be. A group of

people

are of the opinion that those in authority should prohibit participation in sporting

activities

which are harmful

whereas

others argue that individuals should be free to engage in any kind of

sports

that interests them. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,

people

have preferences when it comes to the

sports

they love.

Therefore

, it will not be logical to restrict them to certain sporting

activities

. These

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of restrictions may cause

people

to lose interest in

sports

totally.

For example

people

from Asia enjoy martial arts ,

hence

, it may be counter-intuitive to prohibit them from participating in it.

Additionally

, the fear of a sporting activity causing harm can be eliminated by putting safety measures in place in order to minimize injury.

Conversely

, the effect of these "harmful" sporting

activities

on the health of those who participate in it can be significant.

Due to

their propensity to cause harm, they can cause pressure, concussion or contusion injuries to different parts of the body and these injuries can be

life altering

Add a hyphen

life-altering

show examples

For instance

, a study done among American rugby players noted a high

occurence

Correct your spelling

occurrence

of neurological disorders in these players

as a result

of the frequent impact on their

head

Fix the agreement mistake

heads

show examples

while

playing the

sports

This

may have been prevented if

people

were prohibited from playing rugby. Despite the

arguements

Correct your spelling

arguments

stated above, I am of the opinion that

people

should be allowed to partake in any

sports

that they enjoy, albeit, with safety measures put in place to prevent any form of harm. In summary,

people

in authority may work towards finding a balance between allowing

people

their freedom when it comes to

sports

and ensuring that the danger these

sports

pose

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

reduced to their barest minimum or eliminated entirely.

Submitted by Gej@22 on Mon Sep 25 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

318 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Which country is the most beautiful in the world and why? Answer the question by expressing your opinion. Write at least three sentences.

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Some people think that some individuals are naturally good leaders while others think individuals can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few people say that at all levels of education from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and no enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Last year you attended a presentation skill course at the Sydney college of Australia. Your new employer has asked you to provide copies of your reports and assignments as quickly as possible.