Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #favourite #activities

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Over the years,

activities

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that are considered to be

sports

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have been evolving.

While

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a few of these games are relatively safe, others are considered not to be. A group of

people

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are of the opinion that those in authority should prohibit participation in sporting

activities

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which are harmful

whereas

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others argue that individuals should be free to engage in any kind of

sports

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that interests them. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,

people

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have preferences when it comes to the

sports

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they love.

Therefore

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, it will not be logical to restrict them to certain sporting

activities

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. These

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of restrictions may cause

people

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to lose interest in

sports

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totally.

For example

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people

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from Asia enjoy martial arts ,

hence

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, it may be counter-intuitive to prohibit them from participating in it.

Additionally

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, the fear of a sporting activity causing harm can be eliminated by putting safety measures in place in order to minimize injury.

Conversely

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, the effect of these "harmful" sporting

activities

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on the health of those who participate in it can be significant.

Due to

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their propensity to cause harm, they can cause pressure, concussion or contusion injuries to different parts of the body and these injuries can be

life altering

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life-altering

show examples

For instance

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, a study done among American rugby players noted a high

occurence

Correct your spelling

occurrence

of neurological disorders in these players

as a result

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of the frequent impact on their

head

Fix the agreement mistake

heads

show examples

while

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playing the

sports

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This

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may have been prevented if

people

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were prohibited from playing rugby. Despite the

arguements

Correct your spelling

arguments

stated above, I am of the opinion that

people

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should be allowed to partake in any

sports

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that they enjoy, albeit, with safety measures put in place to prevent any form of harm. In summary,

people

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in authority may work towards finding a balance between allowing

people

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their freedom when it comes to

sports

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and ensuring that the danger these

sports

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pose

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

reduced to their barest minimum or eliminated entirely.

Submitted by Gej@22 on Mon Sep 25 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

There are fewer controls over the design and construction of home and office building. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?