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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentageof water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information byselecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentageof water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information byselecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentageof #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These pie Charts show the
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in various
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 in the specific six
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 all over the world. we can see here North
Use synonyms
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
 and Europe
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the highest
water
Use synonyms
user
Correct your spelling
use
show examples
 in the industrial area
whereas
Linking Words
 others
use
Use synonyms
 the most proporation in agriculture. Household usage rate is always lower
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared to
show examples
 those two.
In depth
Add a hyphen
In-depth
show examples
, the statistics show that Europe spend 53% of their
water
Use synonyms
 and North
America
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
48%
while
Linking Words
 other areas are showing
this
Linking Words
 rate under 12% or less in the purpose of Industrial
use
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, Agriculture
occupy
Change the verb form
occupies
show examples
 the highest sum of 88% in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
. Africa and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 stand for 84% and 81% respectively. South
America
Use synonyms
 has a percentage of 71% and North
America
Use synonyms
 witnessed 32%, the least in
this
Linking Words
 purpose. Domestic
use
Use synonyms
 always shows the lowest
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 percentage If we compare
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
 the other two sectors.
However
Linking Words
, South American people
use
Use synonyms
 19%, and
European
Replace the word
Europeans
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 15% of
water
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. The statistics
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
. African rate of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption for domestic
use
Use synonyms
 is 9%, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North
Americans
Replace the word
American
show examples
 usage is 4% extra than Africa and stood at 13%.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, use, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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