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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. write a report.

the chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. write a report.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #report
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The display chart shows the amount of
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 enjoyed by men
as well as
Linking Words
 women of different
employment
Use synonyms
status
Use synonyms
.
Leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in a typical week: by sex and
employment
Use synonyms
status
Use synonyms
 1998-1999 is employed full
time
Use synonyms
, employed
part
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, unemployed, retired,
as well as
Linking Words
housewives
Use synonyms
.
Leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in a typical week: by sex and
employment
Use synonyms
status
Use synonyms
, 1998-1999. TheIn the males, employed full
time
Use synonyms
 is between 40-60, employed
part
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 is emty, unemployed is the highest more than 80, retired is around 80 and in
housewives
Use synonyms
 is emty. In the female, in employed full
time
Use synonyms
 is 40, employed
part
Use synonyms
time
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 is nearly 40, in unemployed is 70, in retired is 70 and in
housewives
Use synonyms
 is 50.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the data is on house of
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.
Leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in a typical week: by sex and
employment
Use synonyms
status
Use synonyms
 is 1998-1999.
Employment
Use synonyms
 full
time
Use synonyms
, employed
part
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, unemployed, retired
as well as
Linking Words
housewives
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by purvaam383 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 91%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure, time, employment, status, part, housewives with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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