IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. *What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? *What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?

It is true that nowadays the majority of human
work
Use synonyms
 times increased, and human beings feel more and more stressed than in the past.
Overall
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, I would hope
this
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 trouble, because there are many bad situations with people’s health, which are caused by working a lot of
office
Use synonyms
 hours. There are several arguments as to why they feel stressed at the workplace. The main reasons are concentrating on only one thing, and being so tired,
furthermore
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, there might be problems with a low salary.
In other words
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, workers should sit in one place from 8,9 a.
m
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. until approximately 5,6 p.
m
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. and just
work
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 without any kinds of activities and moving.
For instance
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, in Kazakhstan
office
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 craftsmen
work
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 from morning until evening,
moreover
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, the salaries are not so good. So that's the reason why in the
last
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 year in Almaty a lot of workers left their jobs and felt very bad, more accurately under the weather.
Consequently
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, if it continues in Kazakhstan might not be enough artisans.
However
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, there are some solutions to
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, employers have to cut
office
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 worker’s hours. It might be from 8 a.
m
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 until 3 or 4 a.
m
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. Because they should give employees opportunities
such
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 as, do gym, study and so on.
Secondly
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, the government should give them enough salary to live as much as they
work
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,because in a lot of ,places the salaries of the proletariat are very low.
According to
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 the statistics for 2022 year in Kazakhstan, one of the lowest salaries had people who had worked the longest hours. There were humans
such
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 as
office
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 working people and so on.
Therefore
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, if the government takes it into their own hands, it might be solved . In conclusion, there were problems and solutions, which might be very useful for someone.
Furthermore
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, I would recommend to the government starting from little towns. Because there is not enough attention from the states.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Upskilling
  • Job insecurity
  • Downsizing
  • Economic downturn
  • Performance targets
  • Remote work
  • Workplace culture
  • Flexible working hours
  • Mental health support
  • Professional development
  • Open communication channels
  • Career paths
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