IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The pie chart explains what anthropology graduates chose for their path after graduation. In addition, the table describes the salaries of anthropologists after 5 years of their careers.

The pie chart explains what anthropology graduates chose for their path after graduation. In addition, the table describes the salaries of anthropologists after 5 years of their careers.
#anthropology #graduates #path #graduation #addition #salaries #anthropologists #years #careers
The chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 Anthropology who finish university after receiving
Correct article usage
a
show examples
degree the table
present
Correct subject-verb agreement
presents
show examples
 their job income after five years. The table shows three categories of employment who are active in freelance , government and individual companies.
According to
 the
table
Add a comma
,table
show examples
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 work has high popularity
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to other working time and on the hand, temporary work with postgrad study has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
show examples
. In salary of bellow 49900 , Freelancers and government category
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 5 % in the same quantities and private companies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 dual percentage . The next salary is between 50000 and 74999 , two groups have both 15 % and
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
 company has 35% of salary. The
last
 sector has higher income over
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
100000 $
this
 category has
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 increase in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 to other groups but freelance consultants
has%
Verb problem
have a percentage
show examples
 that
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
 stable.
Totally
Rephrase
In total
show examples
, around 50 %
graduated
Change preposition
of graduated
show examples
 student has
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 job and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 groups reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
48 % .
Submitted by badrijalali on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: