The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons

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The given bar chart

provide

Change the verb form

provides

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information about the way British citizen spent their money based on some age group

Change preposition

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3 main

area

Change to a plural noun

areas

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of spending in 2004.

Overall

Linking Words

, for the oldest people the highest categories

were belong

Change the verb form

belonged

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to food, drink and entertainment and the least was Restaurant and Hotel.

However

Linking Words

, for

younf

Correct your spelling

young

people

Add a comma

,people

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Restaurant

Fix the agreement mistake

Restaurants

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and

Hotel

Fix the agreement mistake

hotels

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become the prominent

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

spent

Change the form of the verb

spending

show examples

According to

Linking Words

the data,

although

Linking Words

most of the UK residents under 30 spend their earnings on

Restaurant

Fix the agreement mistake

Restaurants

show examples

and Hotel (almost 15%)

Remove the comma

apply

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when they

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

older the number

was plummeted

Change to the active voice

plummeted

has plummeted

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dramatically

almost

Change preposition

to almost

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percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

However

Linking Words

, the number

then

Linking Words

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

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gradually by 6% for those aged more than 76+.

On the other hand

Linking Words

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

under 30 only spent the least on Food, drink and entertainment

while

Linking Words

for the people aged 46 until 70, it was the most area of spending until

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

the peak, almost 25 %

spesifically

Correct your spelling

specifically

for those aged 61-76.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Sep 28 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

152 words

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The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that written communication is much less powerful than face to face interaction when it comes to conveying a message. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.