IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#computers #basis #world #classrooms #programs #purposes #dependence #risk #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an argument that
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 on
computers
 that are introduced in
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 classrooms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 used for direct teaching or that may carry any risk to the
students
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 many malpractices take place via
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 my point of view I always
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 in
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
 side of a
computer
. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
 are
ruleing
Correct your spelling
ruling
 the world nowadays.In
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
classroom
Add a comma
,classroom
show examples
computers
 could help the
programme
Replace the word
program
show examples
 in two ways.The first benefit is the
students
 learning through the
computer
 can help them to understand easily and quickly
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to the
lecturer
Change noun form
lecturer's
show examples
 class.And the
students
 using
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 and their programs from their school life can make them easily access the
computer
 programs in future and in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 work.The second advantage is the
students
 can learn
practial
Correct your spelling
practical
 classes.The practical class via the
computer
make
Verb problem
allows
show examples
 them to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 interaction in the classroom
while
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the theory classes.
On the other hand
, the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 safety is
also
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 important concept. Usage of
computers
 for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time may
also
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 some risk to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Over dependence
Add a hyphen
Over-dependence
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
computers
 when
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 may redirect the
students
 to choose
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
 path, because of wrong
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
advertisement
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.It affects the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
studies and mental health in some
extrem
Correct your spelling
extreme
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lead a way to
sucide
Correct your spelling
suicide
.And the hackers on the other side , the usage of electronic
iteams
Correct your spelling
items
 in modern days may lead
path
Add an article
the path
a path
show examples
 to the hackers to collect our personal and business information easily. In conclusion,
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 through
computer
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 some disadvantages but at the same time limited use of
computer
 and
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 programs make
students
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
higher in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 studies.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: