Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behaviour #results

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In recent times, there has been an upscale in the standard of

beauty

as compared to, the past.

Thus

, causing both men and women to be reckless

while

trying to conform to these new changes. In

this

essay, I will discuss the cause and effect. In the past,

beauty

was all about proper grooming,wearing a charming smile or a clean shave and appropriate behaviour. There was no pressure on acquiring lots of

beauty

products

for the skin, all anyone needed

then

was just body oil and lip balm. People were content with their skincare routine and did not go beyond their means to look beautiful. To note, it was believed

then

that

beauty

equated to simplicity. More so, the lack of social media hindered the awareness of

beauty

hacks and

products

. It was

also

believed that women’s interest in skincare weighed more . Rather than chasing

beauty

, men had other interests

such

as gaming and means to financial stability.

However

, times have changed. There has been awareness of

beauty

care and

products

. More companies have been set up to cater to the

beauty

needs of individuals. The arrival of social media promoted new ideas of

beauty

As a result

, both men and women have been moved to follow the new

beauty

trends.

This

has led to mass production and sale of cosmetic

products

, which has resulted in good sales for these production companies. In order to meet up with these

beauty

trends, most individuals live beyond their means and end up in debt. Statistics have shown that people are no longer comfortable with their skin type, colour and even body which has resulted in the rise of low self-esteem amongst the age group of 20-30 years. In conclusion, everyone should buy

products

within their means because

beauty

companies will keep manufacturing more

products

which will attract individuals regardless of financial class.

Submitted by rhexykhay on Thu Sep 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay discusses the causes and effects of the shift in beauty care and products. However, it lacks a clear and focused structure, causing some confusion in the progression of ideas.

task response

The essay addresses the main topic but fails to provide a comprehensive and clear response. Make sure to stay on track with the topic and develop your ideas more coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
idealized beauty standards
disposable income
economic prosperity
technological advancements
beauty products and services
cultural shifts
social contexts
personal health and wellness
self-care routines

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both view and give an opinion.

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent to do agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Governments should spend more on railways instead of roads. Agree or disagree

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?