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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behaviour #results
In recent times, there has been an upscale in the standard of
beauty
 as compared to, the past.
Thus
, causing both men and women to be reckless
while
 trying to conform to these new changes. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the cause and effect. In the past,
beauty
 was all about proper grooming,wearing a charming smile or a clean shave and appropriate behaviour. There was no pressure on acquiring lots of
beauty
products
 for the skin, all anyone needed
then
 was just body oil and lip balm. People were content with their skincare routine and did not go beyond their means to look beautiful. To note, it was believed
then
 that
beauty
 equated to simplicity. More so, the lack of social media hindered the awareness of
beauty
 hacks and
products
. It was
also
 believed that women’s interest in skincare weighed more . Rather than chasing
beauty
 , men had other interests
such
 as gaming and means to financial stability.
However
, times have changed. There has been awareness of
beauty
 care and
products
. More companies have been set up to cater to the
beauty
 needs of individuals. The arrival of social media promoted new ideas of
beauty
.
As a result
, both men and women have been moved to follow the new
beauty
 trends.
This
 has led to mass production and sale of cosmetic
products
, which has resulted in good sales for these production companies. In order to meet up with these
beauty
 trends, most individuals live beyond their means and end up in debt. Statistics have shown that people are no longer comfortable with their skin type, colour and even body which has resulted in the rise of low self-esteem amongst the age group of 20-30 years. In conclusion, everyone should buy
products
 within their means because
beauty
 companies will keep manufacturing more
products
 which will attract individuals regardless of financial class.
Submitted by rhexykhay on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay discusses the causes and effects of the shift in beauty care and products. However, it lacks a clear and focused structure, causing some confusion in the progression of ideas.
task response
The essay addresses the main topic but fails to provide a comprehensive and clear response. Make sure to stay on track with the topic and develop your ideas more coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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