IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?

#students #technology #reliance #computers
Nowadays,
technologies
 play an extremely huge role in our life. They help us do work
such
 as homework, research, and coding.
However
, some people say we rely on them too much and these things can lead to many
problems
, especially if
students
use
 them for education.
This
 essay will discuss what
problems
 the
technologies
 can cause to us and what the solutions are.
Firstly
, it causes bad behaviour
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
students
.
Technologies
 can provide a lot of information to us with an unbelievable speed and sometimes it is too fast.
For example
, kids, today, don’t have enough patience to wait for anything even though they wait for just one to two minutes and the reason being is they used to the
technologies
 that instantly provide everything to them. Another problem is they get too used to search engines like Google or Reddit. 20 years ago, if we had
problems
, we used an encyclopedia or did some experiments in order to get an answer, but now, we have so many search engines which are too easy to
use
. These things make
students
 not know how to
use
 any
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
 method.
For instance
, if they face any situation where they can’t
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 do anything. For the solution to these
problems
, we should encourage kids to
use
 the
internet
 as a tool rather than the necessary things that we could not live without them. To do
this
, we need to teach
students
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 have more patience by doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other ways
such
 as experimenting
instead
 of searching
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
.
This
 way can help them truly understand it from the initial.
To sum up
, if kids too much rely on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, it can make them impatient.
Moreover
, the
students
 will not know the other ways to get an answer except using the
internet
. To solve
this
, we need to encourage them to
use
 other ways out and teach them to be more
patients
Fix the agreement mistake
patient
show examples
.
Submitted by shayakornsupasatit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: