You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend

#friend #advice #college #job

Dear Mary, I hope you are fine. I got your letter, yesterday and in my opinion it's better for you to get a job. I feel you need a break from your studies as you told me many times that you're bored with learning. So,

this

break provides stress-free time and

also

can give a hand to your mom's baking shop, which will be helpful when you turn to your family business. I'm working part-time in KFC and earned 1000 pounds the previous month. I know there is some staff shortage in your bakery, work there for casual hours, you can make some pocket money that can be used for watching cinemas because that's

your

Change the word

the

show examples

great

Correct word choice

greatest

show examples

entertainment I

ever known

Add the auxiliary verb

knew

have ever known

show examples

, or we use that money for the next year's university fees. I always prefer part-time

than

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

full-time jobs because can use the other time for

my interests areas

Change to a genitive case

the areas of my interest

the areas of my interests

show examples

. Please choose your job style as per your interest. I believe, my letter helps you well. I'm eagerly waiting to see you soon. With Love, Julia

Submitted by ansamerrin987 on Thu Sep 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your letter by organizing your ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Use a more appropriate greeting and closing for a formal letter.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

task achievement

Expand more on the reasons why you think getting a job is better.

task achievement

Maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the letter.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

175 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Juncture
Firsthand
Practical skills
Theoretical focus
Financial independence
Career advancement
Real-world experience
Part-time studies
Online courses
Financial stability
Career goals

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You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend

To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is the positive or negative development?

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Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boys and girls at school. Others disagree and believe that it is a waste of school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some students prefer to take a gap year between highschool and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?