Big salary is much important than job satisfaction? Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction

Some people believe that earning a substantial amount of money is more important than job fulfilment. In my opinion, I completely agree with the idea that we should find

work

satisfaction in workplaces rather than following the high-end jobs.

To begin

with, receiving a higher income as a salary often comes with various reasons.

For instance

, higher-paying positions tend to entail a lot of pressure, which can lead to stress and anxiety.

Consequently

, some

individuals

may experience health problems,

such

as high blood pressure.

Additionally

, certain job roles require extra working hours, including weekends when folk should be spending time with their families and friends.

This

may not be apparent at the outset;

however

individuals

can become isolated, and some may even attempt to end their lives

due to

the loneliness caused by

this

strain. For these reasons, earning a high salary is not always beneficial for

individuals

On the other hand

, employees are more likely to be productive when they have a good

work

-life balance. It is evident that people who endeavour in an enjoyable environment tend to remain in their jobs until retirement age.

This

can contribute to the success of a business. People are less likely to resign frequently when they are content in their jobs.

Moreover

individuals

in a happy

work

environment have more time for their families, friends, and even their community outreach. It is now evident that having an enjoyable

work

environment is more advantageous for

individuals

. Take everything into consideration,

although

it is good to have a handsome salary

this

does not always lead to a better life. It is now clear that working in a good

work

setting is more resilient than earning a big monthly income job.

Submitted by kokozay on Thu Sep 28 2023

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Language Use

There is repetition in the usage of the phrase 'it is now evident' in the second body paragraph and the conclusion. It might be better to use synonyms to avoid repetition.

Vocabulary

It is better to use 'people' instead of 'folk' in an academic and formal essay.

Style

Remember to strive for clear and concise wording. Instead of 'Take everything into consideration,' consider writing 'In conclusion.'

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much important than job satisfaction? Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th

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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?