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Writing Samples
Band 5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which was result from this energy use

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which was result from this energy use
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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The study illustrates how the
energy
Use synonyms
 being used in the Australian household, which is divided into two charts. The
first
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 demonstrates how
energy
Use synonyms
 is used by his group of people
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average, and the second
chart
Use synonyms
 shows the greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 caused by using the mentioned
energy
Use synonyms
types
Use synonyms
 in the
first
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 household
energy
Use synonyms
types
Use synonyms
, the heating sources generally
occupies
Correct subject-verb agreement
occupy
show examples
 more than 70% alone. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
, it is easy to notice that heating sources
also
Linking Words
generates
Correct subject-verb agreement
generate
show examples
 the greatest percentage
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the other sources of
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
show examples
 emission. From the
first
Use synonyms
 view on the
first
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
, we will able to observe that different heating forms consisting of heating and water heating
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of the
chart
Use synonyms
, and the other
energy
Use synonyms
types
Use synonyms
 are sharing in the
last
Linking Words
 third together.
In addition
Linking Words
, the other appliances cause the largest amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 being used in the
last
Linking Words
 third than the
last
Linking Words
 three
types
Use synonyms
 of refrigeration, cooling and lighting. For the greenhouse gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
, it seems that water heating and other appliances almost are equal in their
emissions
Use synonyms
, and the same is seen between the heating and refrigeration
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, as we observed in the
first
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
, cooling and lighting
occupies
Correct subject-verb agreement
occupy
show examples
 the lowest rates, where
also
Linking Words
 cooling effect is larger than
lighting
Correct article usage
the lighting
show examples
 effect. By comparing between two charts, it is easy to notice that the largest effect is
seeing
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
 on water heating and other appliances increased in the second
chart
Use synonyms
 to take the place of heating.
Submitted by alaan0542 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, last".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, first, chart, emissions, types with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 9 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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