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Band 5

Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believed that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #increases #crime #rates #police #streets #combat
Crime
 starts to become a major problem for countries to deal with. Some
people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that having more police forces
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places best
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 to do as
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reduce
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate. I
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 disagree with that view because
crime
 is the
last
 step of the process and we have better
action
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
prevent it before
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
. In my opinion, tracking
people
 who has
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 potential to
involved
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crime
such
 as
suicede
Correct your spelling
suicide
 bombing and mass
shooting
Replace the word
shootings
show examples
 more promising way to reduce
that kinds
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of
action
. Criminals use electronic devices
for collecting
Change preposition
to collect
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 before
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
action
 to
preparing
Change the verb form
prepare
show examples
bomb
Fix the agreement mistake
bombs
show examples
 or learn
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
 about
crime
sciene
Correct your spelling
scene
science
. If intelligent services developed tools for
find that
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
people
 from keywords and
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 in detail after filtration can easily help them to find criminals.
Also
, they will use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 order tools ,
such
 as
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
,
knife
Fix the agreement mistake
knives
show examples
, and explosive
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
, that
involved
Wrong verb form
involve
show examples
crime
 and following that online orders
another
Add a missing verb
are another
show examples
 alternative to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 criminals from
society
 and follow them closely.
On the other hand
, strict laws most effective
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to
deals
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with actions that disrupt
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 peace. If
people
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 from
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 when they do something harmful to another person,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will punish them with high tickets or send them to jail for long years they won't attempt any
anormal
Correct your spelling
abnormal
 behavioural
action
.
This
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 responsibility
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
law makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
show examples
 and
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
 department of government. In that way, they can build
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
 with
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
crime
 rate. In conclusion, I strongly believe that if we want to reduce
crime
 in
society
, we should focus on more pre-
crime
 actions
such
 as
track
Replace the word
tracking
show examples
people
 and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 strong laws
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against
crime
. Other strategies don't help to maintain
Correct article usage
a
show examples
society
 with
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
crime
 rate.
Submitted by airbender on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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