IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010

#household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year
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The pie charts
gives
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give
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 detailed information about how many percentages of household
expenditures
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 in
Correct your spelling
Chinese
Chineese
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Chinese
 and Malaysians in 2010
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
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apply
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 there were
a
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apply
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remarkable differences in all
expenditures
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that, the high differences
was belonged
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belonged
has belonged
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 to
transporg
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transport
 and housing
expenditures
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
rate
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 of health care
of
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in
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 Japan was at 6%.
Another
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Other
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 resources
of
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apply
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expenditures
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 were more than 20
percent
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per cent
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. They are housing,
transport
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,
food
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 and other goods and services. The
transport
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rate
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 was at 29%. The housing
rate
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 was less than
this
Linking Words
rate
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 by
at
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apply
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8%. The
food
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rate
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 was at 24%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
rate
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 of
food
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 was more than
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transport
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the transport
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rate
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by
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apply
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at
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apply
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4% and the remained
percentages
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percentage
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 belonged to
housing
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the housing
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rate
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. When it comes to Malaysians,
this
Linking Words
 country’s highest percentage belonged to
housing
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the housing
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rate
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. It was at 34%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lowest
rate
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was belonged
Change to the active voice
belonged
has belonged
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 to
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rate
Add an article
the rate
a rate
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 of health care. It was at 3%.
Furtheremore
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Furthermore
,
transport
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 and
food
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 rates were almost the same.
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Transport
Correct article usage
The transport
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rate
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 was at 26% and
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food
Correct article usage
the food
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rate
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 was at 27%. Other goods and services
was
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were
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 at 10
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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