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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #post #students #work #college #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 in the UK who did not go into full-time employment after completing their college in the year 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both graduated and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 the total
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who want to pursue higher studies is higher than part-time, voluntary work and Unemployment and the
number
Use synonyms
 of postgraduation
students
Use synonyms
 who did not go for a full-time job is significantly lower than undergraduates.
According to
Linking Words
 the table,
further
Linking Words
 studies are opted for by the majority of people which is around 2,700 postgraduates,
while
Linking Words
 voluntary job seems to be an uncommon option as only 345 postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 are working in that field. There are 2,535 people who are working part-time work and the rest of the 1,625 members are jobless. At nearly 30,000 graduates who continued on to
further
Linking Words
 studies greatly outnumbered their counterparts who ended up in other situations. In comparison, only 3,500 graduates did voluntary work, making it the least common destination. Those who worked part-time and those who were unemployed were almost similar in
number
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of undergraduates who didn't go full-time is almost 10 times more than postgraduates in every position they chose after their degree.
Submitted by sreyakaruturi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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