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Band 4.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
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One of the discussed issues nowadays is that the students that choose
science
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 lessons are not enough. It is undeniable that
science
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 become an essential part of our life. In
this
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 essay, I will explain some reasons and effects on
society
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. One of the main causes of
this
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 is that people think
science
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 is something hard to understand. It is a result of, students before high education, when they study in school, do not exactly catch
science
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 or it because of their teacher that was not teach them better and clearly. The second cause in my view they have all the things that they need.
For example
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, TV , smartphones and
another kind
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other kinds
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 of technology make their life easier. They never thought about if scientists will decrease and we do not have people to replace scientists who working now, all our convenience will be over. The first effect will be that
society
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 will stop moving. In our modern time technology is all, we use in all cases, like for study, payment and other things, and if
science
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 stops, will stop technology,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 lead to
stop
Verb problem
apply
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our
society
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.
Furthermore
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,
effects
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the effects
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 will affect our nature. We now have a lot of technological tools, that people use to water trees and other flowers.
Therefore
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, it will be hard to change these tools in little time. Having weighed all mentioned , we can come to
conclusion
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the conclusion
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 that we need to increase interest in
science
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 for students. So it will be not surprising if
society
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 will have a big change in the future.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression. The introduction and conclusion could be more focused, and the main points need to be better supported with relevant details.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks depth and development. It needs to provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas with relevant examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
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