IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts give information about the average household consumption in Japan and Malaysia in five categories.

The pie charts give information about the average household consumption in Japan and Malaysia in five categories.
The pie charts show the information related to the percentages of five different types of household consumption in the two countries, Japan and Malaysia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that consumption in housing is greater than other categories.
To begin
Linking Words
, people in Japan spend approximately 29% of their expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other goods and services. Whilst, more than a fifth, 21%, of society
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 the money for housing needs. After that, it presents about 20%-24%
Japanese
Change preposition
of Japanese
show examples
 people have a significant increase in their household expenses for transport and food.
Lastly
Linking Words
, a very small
portionof
Correct your spelling
portion of
6% is used for health care.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, housing consumption in Malaysia showed a large number of 34%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Malaysian families purchase more food rather than other goods. It can be shown by the percentage shown in the charts around 26% to 27%. The data presents one in ten,10%, use up for transport and 3% in well-being.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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