IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that employers should ensure a pleasant working environment so that workers feel valued and will therefore work hard. Others feel that employers should be stricter with employees and monitor them closely to ensure they work hard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #employers #environment #workers #work #employees
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In
this
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 dynamic era,there is a hot debate on ensuring the environment for
staff
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.A segment of society reckons that administrators should ensure friendly working surroundings,others enterperinours believe that ensuring strict surroundings can boost
employer's
Correct article usage
an employer's
show examples
 working capability.As far as my opinion is concerned, I would prefer a challenging environment for
staff
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.
To begin
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 with,proponents of the first idea believed that cooperation should confirm satisfying
conditions
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 to
staff
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 for their personal comfort.As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is assumed that providing agreeable
conditions
Use synonyms
 enlarges
overall
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 cooperation efficiencies.
Furthermore
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, allowing pleasant habitat makes home
conditions
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, where workers try their best to work hard for their administrations.To illustrate, the revealed truth behind Amazon's success is they are providing pleasurable
conditions
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 to their operators.
On the other hand
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, other enterperinours believed that promising severe
conditions
Use synonyms
 can increase member of
staff
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 work.Giving daily talks, and targets improves
staff
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 focus on their work which would increase their capability efforts, and
as a result
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, more outcomes will come.
Additionally
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,they will not waste time
while
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 working hours it can
also
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 make
staff
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 punctual,cooperative and hard worker.
For instance
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, an experiment was done by neuroscientists who assumed that ensuring challenges to the human brain can provide righteous
conditions
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 to master the art of pressure handling,focusing and working smart. To summarise, the issue of working habitat for working always disputes various debates.Both ideas have valid constructive effects
however
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, providing strict
conditions
Use synonyms
 can increase
overall
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 workers' performance.
Submitted by notkhan01 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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