Many manufactured food and drink produts contain haigh levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
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the development of the market, people nowadays have many options for
food
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and
beverage
Fix the agreement mistake
beverages
show examples
.
However
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,
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of
food
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and drink products have produced
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high levels of
sugar
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which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to many health issues
such
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as
diabety
Correct your spelling
diabetes
diabetic
and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
problems. Some people believe that the price
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
would
Verb problem
should
show examples
be increased to reduce consumption. From my point of view, it would be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
appropariate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
action which could encourage people to consume less
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
reaseaches
Correct your spelling
researches
researchers
from scientists
showed
Wrong verb form
have shown
show examples
that high
sugar
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in
food
Use synonyms
and
bevearge
Correct your spelling
beverage
beverages
is one of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
caused
obesbity
Correct your spelling
obesity
. By adding
sugar
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to
food
Use synonyms
and drink, the tastes could be more flavoured,
however
Linking Words
,
comsuming
Correct your spelling
consuming
more
sugar
Use synonyms
will impact on clarification system in
blood
Add an article
the blood
show examples
which increases the fat in
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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