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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001.

The line graph shows the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001.
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The
shown
Verb problem
apply
show examples
line chart represents the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 journeys to some nations by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
 for contrary purposes over a period of 12 years from 1989 to 2001. It's clear from the graph that the proportion of the residents
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
show examples
 their
trips
Use synonyms
 on Holidays is higher than the
trips
Use synonyms
 on business , family
visitis
Correct your spelling
visits
 and other purposes.In terms of the total number of journeys, it
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the highest figure
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
 of 73.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1998 .
Overall
Linking Words
, the residents tend to choose the trip on holidays , it accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 highest percentages from 30
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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to 50 million
trips
Use synonyms
 between 1989 and 1998
then
Linking Words
 it went down sharply
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 third consecutive years. Regarding , the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
inhabitans
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
 chose the excursion on business
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 slightly from 9 to 10 million from 1989 to 1995 next it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
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 slowly
Fix the infinitive
to approximate
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approximate
Change the word
approximately
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 9
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2001,
Besides
Linking Words
 ,there was a steady increase in the
quatity
Correct your spelling
quantity
quality
 of the resident chose the tour on Family visits from 5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1989 to 12
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2001.
Finally
Linking Words
 the
trips
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other purposes
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 climbing moderately 4 to 8
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 between 1989 and 1995 and declining
Change preposition
by
show examples
2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2001.The public count of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trips
Use synonyms
 rose sharply from 49 in 1989 to 73,5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1998
Linking Words
finally
Correct word choice
and finally
show examples
 it decreased significantly in 2001
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 61
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words trips, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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