The line graph shows the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001.

The line graph shows the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for

various purposes between 1989 and 2001.
The
shown
Verb problem
apply
show examples
line chart represents the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
journeys to some nations by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
for contrary purposes over a period of 12 years from 1989 to 2001. It's clear from the graph that the proportion of the residents
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
show examples
their
trips
on Holidays is higher than the
trips
on business , family
visitis
Correct your spelling
visits
and other purposes.In terms of the total number of journeys, it
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
the highest figure
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
of 73.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 1998 .
Overall
, the residents tend to choose the trip on holidays , it accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
highest percentages from 30
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
to 50 million
trips
between 1989 and 1998
then
it went down sharply
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
third consecutive years. Regarding , the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
of
inhabitans
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
chose the excursion on business
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
slightly from 9 to 10 million from 1989 to 1995 next it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
slowly
Fix the infinitive
to approximate
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approximate
Change the word
approximately
show examples
9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2001,
Besides
,there was a steady increase in the
quatity
Correct your spelling
quantity
quality
of the resident chose the tour on Family visits from 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 1989 to 12
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2001.
Finally
the
trips
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
other purposes
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
climbing moderately 4 to 8
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
between 1989 and 1995 and declining
Change preposition
by
show examples
2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2001.The public count of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trips
rose sharply from 49 in 1989 to 73,5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 1998
finally
Correct word choice
and finally
show examples
it decreased significantly in 2001
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
61
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words trips, millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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