IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

Quantity
Correct article usage
The quantity
show examples
 of foreign students among university graduates from different Canadian provinces
depicted
Verb problem
is depicted
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 in the chart below, between 2001 and 2006 By reporting
one
Punctuation problem
, one
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 of the most popular
Use synonyms
province
Fix the agreement mistake
provinces
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 for studying is definitely New Brunswick ,which reached the highest point in
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
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 where the percentage of attendance was rising almost to 12%. Compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Ontario
province
Use synonyms
 in
which
Correct word choice
where
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percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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 reached only 6-7% in the same year as New Brunswick.
However
Linking Words
,we can highlight the other
province
Use synonyms
 with attendance equal to 11% in
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
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 named
as
Change preposition
apply
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British Columbia
Check wording
apply
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province
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 differences between British Columbia and New Scotia
insignificant
Verb problem
were insignificant
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 in 2006,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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 in 2001 New Scotia reached 6-7%
while
Linking Words
 British Columbia did not even reach 5%. By telling about
differences
Correct article usage
the differences
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 between provinces, there are two exceptions,which are almost identical to each other. Manitoba and Newfoundland and Labrador,which are at the same percentage
in
Change preposition
apply
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each
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 and
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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 less than 5% in 2001 and 7% in 2006. The rest of
Canadian
Correct article usage
the Canadian
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 provinces, which are not connected with each
other’s
Check wording
other
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 and
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 their own trends.
Whereas
Linking Words
 Quebec
was
Verb problem
had
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rising
Correct article usage
a rising
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 attendance in 2001 to 6%, Alberta
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not even
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
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 5%. And
also
Linking Words
 in
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
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 Quebec
was
Verb problem
had
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 slightly rising numbers of students, Alberta almost levelled
of in
Change preposition
off at
show examples
 almost 8%

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state what the graph shows. Try to summarize the main trends in one sentence.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This will help with understanding your points.
cohesion
Try to use linking words (like 'also', 'however', 'in addition') to connect your ideas better in each paragraph.
task achievement
You included some specific percentages, which is good for supporting your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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