IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected chies for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected chies for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #chies #year #distribution
The bar chart illustrates the average Australian
water
 consumption in selected cities for
last
 year . And the pie chart shows the distribution.
Overall
 , the most
water
 consumption is in the Perth , and the rest is in the Canberra. And the most
water
distributed
Add a missing verb
is distributed
show examples
 for agriculture.
Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
show examples
water
distributed
Add a missing verb
is distributed
show examples
 to the mining, households,
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers
show examples
 and so on.
Water
 consumption in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Perth is 300
kilolitre
Fix the agreement mistake
kilolitres
show examples
. In comparison with Canberra more than two hundred
kilolitre
Change to a plural noun
kilolitres
show examples
.
Another cities
Replace the adjective
Another city
Other cities
show examples
 like Sydney , Melbourne and Adelaide used about 150-250
kilolitre
Fix the agreement mistake
kilolitres
show examples
 of
water
 . A lot of
water
 is used to maintain
agricultures
Fix the agreement mistake
agriculture
show examples
. Agriculture distribution is 67 per cent . In
comparison
Add a comma
,comparison
show examples
 it is more than all others . Another the most distribution going to households , 9 per cent .
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: