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In many countries the proportion of elderly people is increasing. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #proportion #people #trend
Overall
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The overall
show examples
 age of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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increase
Add a missing verb
has increase
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade in many countries. In my opinion,
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of
this
 trend outweigh the advantages from the
healtcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 and economic perspective.
Aging
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The aging
An aging
show examples
population
 has two minor advantages.
Firstly
, old
people
 tend to protect their culture and live with old traditions. In that way,
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
 their past easily and keep alive traditions.
Secondly
, nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 long hours and they don't have enough time to spend with their children.
However
, grandmothers and grandfathers have
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much free time during the day which can easily
involved
Change the verb form
involve
show examples
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 with their
grandchilds
Correct your spelling
grandchildren
show examples
 and help their personal growth in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 manner. Those benefits are personal and don't change society's future.
On the other hand
,
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
 of
people
 with old
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 in
population
 have major drawbacks. When
people
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 older, they have more health issues and
this
 situation puts
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much pressure
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the healthcare system which
ended
Wrong verb form
ends
show examples
 up with increase
taxes
Change preposition
in taxes
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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paid by
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation. Another issue is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 lack of innovation. Innovation comes from
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation because they are more
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
show examples
 and used to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 more risks. When we look up to top companies in the world which boost
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy, they put innovation as a priority. So,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 young
people
 ended up with less innovative industries which
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
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overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
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 economy.
Lastly
,
politician
Fix the agreement mistake
politicians
show examples
 can easily manipulate older
people
 because they
are not use
Change the verb form
are not used
are not using
show examples
 to
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 access to information channels to find
truth
Correct article usage
the truth
show examples
 and
this
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in voting wrong
people
 and
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
 them to
country
 management. In conclusion, from my perspective;
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
 proportion in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 ends with
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 and political collapse.
Submitted by airbender on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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