You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

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One
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of the most recent
trend
Change to a plural noun
trends
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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today’s world is the compulsory military service after
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
school for young men. From
this
Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
training
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trainings
Add a comma
,trainings
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government tries to build a lawful and healthy young generation
to
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in
show examples
country
Correct article usage
the country
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. It is a good move if we can adopt
training
Correct article usage
a training
show examples
system for
women
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also
Linking Words
. Because now most of the big institutions
lead
Wrong verb form
are led
show examples
by
women
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.
This
Linking Words
shows
women
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becoming
Verb problem
have
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big
Correct article usage
a big
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role
on
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in
show examples
society as same as men. In my perspective
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
military training for
women
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has more positive impact than negatives. When I consider about
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
side of the training
to
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for
show examples
them,
most
Correct article usage
the most
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prominent
one
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is they can become mentally and physically fit. They can learn the way how to maintain their
physically
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physical
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and
mentally strong
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mental strength
show examples
. Not only that they can have knowledge about the
self defensive
Add a hyphen
self-defensive
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methods. And
also
Linking Words
they can make new friends all over the country.
This
Linking Words
will help them to
strength
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strengthen
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their
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
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path by having
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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all over the country and
varies
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various
show examples
industries. On the
one
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hand may point out some drawbacks
also
Linking Words
. Because
,
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apply
show examples
some
women
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may have physical and
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
issues when
hey
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
were in childhood. These issues can grow during the training period. Because military training is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard training
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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to other
trainings
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training
pieces of training
show examples
.
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
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it is the most significant drawback.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in
whole
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the whole
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world is focusing
to educate
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on educating
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citizens to create
Correct article usage
a healthy
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healthy
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a healthy
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and efficient
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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. So
this
Linking Words
step of providing military training for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation will help to achieve that target. In the view of
argument
Correct article usage
the argument
show examples
outlined above,
one
Use synonyms
can conclude that despite having some drawbacks the benefit of providing military training for both men and
women
Use synonyms
will
higher
Add a missing verb
be higher
show examples
than without
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
.
Submitted by skdikshan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • military service
  • young men
  • adopt
  • system
  • patriotism
  • national unity
  • responsibility
  • discipline
  • individual freedoms
  • personal choice
  • skills
  • training
What to do next:
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