IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some places, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is no doubt that these days many
people
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 prefer eating fast
meals
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 to healthy
food
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in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 addition to sugary drinks becoming, recently, so popular.
On the other hand
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, junk
food
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 was in fewer shops and at higher prices in the past. The question is whether
this
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 is a positive or a negative progression. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss both the downsides and upsides of fast
food
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 and examine why I feel that it is a negative enhancement in the field of
food
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 production. In terms of the negative side, the more fast
food
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 you eat, the more likely you
will
Verb problem
are to
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 be susceptible to fat disorders. The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that fast
food
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 is enriched with fats and calories, leading to fat diseases and overweight. To illustrate, the Big Tasty meal (one of McDonald's most-bought
meals
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) contains about 800 calories alone.
Moreover
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, it affects our cholesterol levels in the blood.
For instance
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, many studies have proven that one of the main reasons for high levels of cholesterol is
such
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 prepared
meals
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.
Although
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 pre-made
food
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 can infect
people
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 with various diseases, it has some positive effects. In fact, fast
food
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 restaurants
conserve
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save
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 time for
people
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, making them work more efficiently
instead
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 of thinking about what they will cook every day.
For example
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, when I was young, my mother used to hardly think
what
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about what
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 she would cook for me and my brother each day, affecting her ability to focus on her work. Certainly,
this
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 is why many
people
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 tend to eat prepared
meals
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. In conclusion, despite the advantages of junk
meals
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, the disadvantages far outweigh the upsides.
Therefore
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, I believe that
people
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, mostly younger, should only eat
meals
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 prepared at home. In order to decrease
eating
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the consumption of
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 fast
food
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, we should increase 
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 prices.

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planning
Make a clear plan and say your view in the intro, then talk about each idea in its own part.
cohesion
Use simple links like and, but, also, so, therefore to make ideas fit together.
evidence
Give clear examples and avoid brand names unless needed; explain details.
grammar
Check the form of sentences; some phrases are awkward and need to be rewritten.
conclusion
End with a short, strong closing line that restates your view.
content
The writer shows a clear view at the end.
structure
The essay talks about both sides, not just one side.
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