IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effect they have in terms of health on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #parts #world #market #products #whiten #people’s #skin #outline #effect #terms #health #society
It is argued that in many countries
skin
 care
products
 play a major role in generating a country's income. One
such
 reason for
people
 using these
products
 may be the colour discrimination in society and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 myth that only an individual with a fair
skin
 tone looks beautiful.
However
, All these
products
 will have detrimental effects on
people
's health.
Initially
, In recent days
beauty
 care
products
 have demand all over the world. It is because individuals are leaning towards the fairness creams that make their
skin
 white. One reason for the usage of
such
products
 may be an inferiority complex. They might have faced colour discrimination in various circumstances in their life.
As a result
, they would have liked to improve their
skin
 tone with the help of these
products
.
Furthermore
, most of the women think that they look beautiful only with fairer
skin
.Take TV celebrities
for example
, All they use
such
beauty
products
 to be more appealing on-screen,
Also
 it is very rare to see a darker
skin
 as a female lead in any of the movies or shows. Unequivocally, Too much usage of these
beauty
products
 will eventually have a significant effect on
people
's health. Certainly, the chemicals used in these
products
 are very harmful to the
skin
.Nowadays there is an alarming rise in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of
people
 affected by
skin
 cancer.
For instance
, In a recent study, it was revealed that nowadays
skin
-bleaching creams and lotions often contain mercury, a toxic metal that accumulates in water and can cause serious harm to the nervous, digestive and immune systems, organs, and eyes of all living things.
To conclude
,
Although
 the
beauty
 market is growing enormously and contributing to the nation's development. It has very harmful effects on
people
's health.
Submitted by vyshu.bakkiam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Use relevant examples to support your ideas and provide a clear and comprehensive response to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your ideas are logically organized and connected. Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural perceptions
  • Higher social status
  • Colonial influences
  • Media promotion
  • Advertisements
  • Celebrity endorsements
  • Self-esteem
  • Body image
  • Job prospects
  • Marriage opportunities
  • Health risks
  • Skin irritation
  • Allergies
  • Skin cancer
  • Kidney damage
  • Toxic substances
  • Mercury
  • Hydroquinone
  • Colorism
  • Social divisions
  • Stereotypes
  • Discrimination
  • Social inequality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: