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Writing Samples
Band 8

44.In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?

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It has been increasingly common for
people
Use synonyms
 in several countries to spend the majority of their days at the workplace. In
this
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 essay, I will explore some potential reasons behind
this
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 trend and explain why it is a negative approach.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 nowadays are extending their working
hours
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 and working harder and
this
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 approach can be attributed to the need to provide for their families in the context of ever-increasing living costs. In the era of rising cost of living and inflation, many individuals feel compelled to work longer
hours
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 to maintain their desired living standards. The need to cover essential expenses, including housing, education, healthcare and other daily fundamentals drives
people
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 to seek additional income through extended working
hours
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.
In addition
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, in certain industries and professions, the competitive nature of the job market compels workers to put in more working
hours
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 to stand out or advance in their careers. Fear of job insecurities can
also
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 contribute to the popularity of
this
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 trend. It is undoubted that working too hard can bring numerous drawbacks. One of the most significant threats is that it can damage employee's health. To be more specific,
people
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 who spend too much
time
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 working may not have enough
time
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 to take care of themselves properly and recover.
For example
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, they cannot find the
time
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 to participate in leisure activities and maintain a balanced diet which fuels their bodies or get enough sleep. It has been scientifically proven that working overtime for a long period of
time
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 can cause chronic stress, burnout and depression. Another key impact of
this
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 trend is a lack of quality family
time
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. In fact, children are always the ones who bear the brunt of inadequate quality
time
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. When teenagers lack parental care and emotional support, the bond they share with their families will weaken over
time
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.
Furthermore
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, youngsters subjected to neglect may develop psychiatric disorders
such
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 as depression and anxiety. In conclusion, the prevalence of spending long
hours
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 at work can be attributed to economic pressure and job competitiveness.
This
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 has
consequently
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 resulted in pressing problems faced by working individuals, including the unalleviated health degradation of employees and potential suffering endured by children in those families

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and avoid using repetitive language.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range accuracy
Proofread your work for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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