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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects.But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are good at or find the most interesting.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus
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The school education system is the major pillar to to create
the
Correct article usage
a
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balance
Replace the word
balanced
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 person.
However
Linking Words
, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 argument about studying school curriculum, a part of the community
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
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,that pupils should give their attention
for
Change preposition
to
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 the whole
Use synonyms
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
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 areas, and others
debates
Correct subject-verb agreement
debate
show examples
, that the students should identify their own likings in the
syllebus
Correct your spelling
curriculum
, and concentrate
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 those areas. Here, I strongly believe, that teenagers should focus
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
complete
Add an article
the complete
show examples
 subject area because it is impossible to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the final exam destinations without complete knowledge. Even though, youngsters could make a decision about their majorings as per their own wish. On the one hand, nowadays, the primary and tertiary educational systems are consisted
with
Change preposition
of
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numorous
Correct your spelling
numerous
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason,students, who are willing to complete high studies, it is mandatory to study
fully
Change the word
full
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Use synonyms
subjects
Change the noun form
subject
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 areas,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
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 they would not
eligible
Add a missing verb
be eligible
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 to pass the examinations.
For instance
Linking Words
, Sinhala language and mathematics are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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critical
subjects
Use synonyms
 in Sri Lankan
ordinary level
Add a hyphen
ordinary-level
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 examination because if
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
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 fails these
subjects
Use synonyms
,which is caused to fail the examination totally.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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balance
educational
Change preposition
of educational
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 attention is
the
Change the article
apply
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paramount for
fullfilling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future targets.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, personal
favouration
Correct your spelling
favouritism
 is
the
Correct article usage
an
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 undeniable motivation factor for any human owing to
this
Linking Words
 reason,
student
Add an article
a student
the student
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 who has a talent and liking about some specific area could change his complete life positively.
For example
Linking Words
, there are
many
Change the article
a many
the many
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number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
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 of
nobel
Change the capitalization
Nobel
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 price holders, who failed in the schooling system ,but they could reach their life goals through the specific
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 even though
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
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 of people are very few
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the earth,majority of the young people end their education
due to
Linking Words
 unbalance study pattern. In conclusion, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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responsible citizens ,everyone should encourage
young
Add an article
the young
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 generation to adopt
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the balance
learning
Change preposition
of learning
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 works.
Otherwise
Linking Words
 ,which will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Add an article
the effect
an effect
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their sustainable future
inversly
Correct your spelling
inversely
.
Submitted by donnayanajith on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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