IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar charts give data on the gross figure of minutes in
billions
 of phone tells in the UK, divided into local,
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
national and international over a period 7-year from 2001 to 2008. It can be seen from the graph that the integral quantity of minutes for
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 sector
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 areas.
Also
, mobiles, national and international upward trend substantially. First of all, the count of minutes of telephone calls for mobiles had hit the highest point
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 44
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 from 2 units in 2001 to 46 units in 2008. In terms of national and international, the two
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 experience
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 increase from 38 to 61
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 after 7 years. Looking at the graph more closely, we can see the number
calls
Change preposition
of calls
show examples
 for local
rapidly
Change the adverb
rapid
show examples
 growth from 72 to 90 units between 2001 and 2005.
Then
 there
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffered a
quickly declined
Replace the word
quick decline
show examples
 with 84 and 72
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 for 2006 and 2008 respectively.
Overall
, the data in local still stayed the same
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words billions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number of minutes
  • telephone calls
  • categories
  • local – fixed line
  • national and international – fixed line
  • mobiles
  • general trend
  • yearly totals
  • significant changes
  • milestones
  • data
  • rise significantly
  • decline
  • steady increase
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • exponential growth
  • over the period
What to do next:
Look at other essays: