The chart below shows the percentages of males and females with higher education qualifications in 5 countries in 2001.

#percentages #males #females #education #qualifications #countries

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The diagram illustrates the proportion of men and women with advanced educational

certificates

Use synonyms

in Switzerland, Britain, Japan,

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

States and Germany by the year 2001.

Overall

Linking Words

it is immediately apparent that both men and women comparatively had qualifications for advanced studies.

To begin

Linking Words

with, both Switzerland and Germany observed the highest percentage of people who acquired

certificates

Use synonyms

for pursuing higher education at 45%. Interestingly,

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the same number of men as women acquired

certificates

Use synonyms

for higher studies in Switzerland and Germany at 45% and 35% and vice versa for the gender in the respective countries. Turning to Britain and the United States, the same proportion of males gained

certificates

Use synonyms

for higher education at 35%. Meanwhile, 40% of females did in America whilst 10% less than

this

Linking Words

figure obtained

certificates

Use synonyms

in Britain.

By contrast

Linking Words

, Japan recorded the least qualifiers for both genders among the 5 countries with only 30% of males and 25% of females.

Submitted by nmaureen03 on Mon Oct 02 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words certificates with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

154 words

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The chart below shows the percentages of males and females with higher education qualifications in 5 countries in 2001.

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a professional fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

The diagram details the process of making smoked fish

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?